Things Emmett does while bored in class
by SweeneyLovett
Summary: Emmett tries to keep from becoming bored in class by doing a series of different things. WARNING: Somewhat short and maybe crappy. Not complete. Takes place 40 years after BD. Emmett's POV.
1. First Period

**Ok pples! I got the idea for writing this when I saw "40 Things To Do If You're Bored In Class." So enjoy. Takes place about 40 years after BD. Kinda crappy, I know. But whatever. ******

EmPOV

Today was the first day of school; we were back in Forks again. This time, because of Bella, Jake and Nessie, Bella, Alice, and I are siblings, Rose and Jasper are twins (yet again), Edward and Nessie are siblings, and Jake is an only child. We've been doing it like this since we started main-stream schooling Nessie. And of course, Jake had to go wherever Nessie went. I didn't mind, neither did Edward or the rest of us, except for Rose.

Yesterday we all got our schedules. I had first period with Edward and Bella, second with Rose and Alice, third with Jasper and Bella, fourth with Bella and Nessie, then it was lunch. After lunch I had fifth with Bella and Jake, and for sixth I had Edward and Bella again. Once everyone was ready we all headed off.

1st Period

For first period I sat in the back, next to Bella while Edward was in front of us, sitting next to a girl who was probably a reincarnation of Jessica. _Haha, Eddie-boy! I guess you didn't get so lucky! _"Shutup Emmett," Edward growled. I suppressed a giggle while I thought, _Well, well now, I didn't know you were dating Tom. _Edward turned over and looked at me. "What?" "What did he say, Edward?" Bella asked. Edward sighed. "He said I was 'dating Tom'". I could hear Bella trying to hold in her laughter. "It means your on your period, Edward. He was basically calling you bitchy." Edward shot me a murderous glare, then turned back towards the front as the teacher, a woman named Mrs. Smith, began her lecture on chemical bonds. I started counting from 100 to 1 in my head. "Emmett, what are you planning?" _You'll see, Edward…96, 95,…_I waited until I got to 50, then I started mooing. Mrs. Smith stopped speaking and looked over in our direction. "Who was mooing?" She demanded. "No one, and I mean NO ONE, disrupts my class. Now tell me: who was mooing?!" When no one answered, she said, "Whosoever starts making animal noises again will get detentions for an entire week! Am I clear?"

"Yes, Mrs. Smith." The class responded. She looked around the classroom once more, then started where she left off. As soon as she did, I started cawing like a chicken. She stopped once again and sighed in frustration. "All right then! If you all think you can do this without my help, I'll just give you the worksheet now! And I do expect every question to be correct, or you fail." The class groaned.

While Mrs. Smith was passing out the worksheets, I started squealing like a pig. Mrs. Smith threw down her papers and yelled out, "Stop it! Stop that now! Whoever is doing it, STOP!" By this time, half the class was giggling, including myself, Bella, and Edward. Mrs. Smith picked up the fallen papers, and set them on her desk. Turning back to the class, she opened her mouth to say something, but just as she did the bell rang. Edward turned over again, smiling this time. "Oh God, Emmett. Really?" He shook his head. Bella was giggling. "What do you have planned for second period, Emmett?" Bella asked between giggles.

"Now, now Bella. I mustn't reveal my plans just yet. You'll just have to wait and see for yourself." "But I don't have every class with you Emmett." I shrugged. "Oh well, then." Bella just rolled her eyes. "Now, I shall see you two during sixth. Until then: Auf Wiedersehen!" I saluted them, then made my way towards second.


	2. Second Period

**2cnd Period**

_Now it is time to execute part two of my Superspecialawesome Plan! _I changed into my p.e. clothes and then met Rose and Alice in the gym. When I came up to them I noticed that Alice was having a vision. She snapped out of it after a few seconds. Her lips were pursed, and she looked like she was about to burst out laughing any minute. "Alice, don't you say a word." I threatened. But she just giggled. "Oh, don't worry Emmett, I won't. I haven't even told Rose yet." At the sound of her name Rose sighed and said, "You two sound like Edward and Alice having a private conversation. I want in. Tell me." Alice shook her head. Rose looked over at me. "Emmett, _please _tell me?"

"Y-no." I patted her shoulder. "Of course I wouldn't. I want to see the look on your face when I do it." She stamped her foot. "Do what, Emmett?!" I smiled and said, "You'll see. Right now." I left them, walking over to a crowd of preppy teenage humans. I counted them, there were seven in all. _Perfect. _I made my way next to them, got on my knees, and started crawling around them while singing the Mission Impossible theme song as loud as I could, which was pretty loud. I soon had the entire occupants of the gym staring at me. Half of them I had laughing. "DUN DUN DUNNANANA!!"

After about five minutes of doing this, a teacher come over and told me to stop. "Mr. Cullen, stop that this instant! This is p.e., not a time for foolishness!" So I got up and said, "Yes, sir, Mr. Belcher." I saluted him. "Get back to class. All of you!" He turned back to the stunned people in the rest of the gym. As if stones coming to life, the people began to stir again, going back to what they had been doing before my little "show".

I walked back over to Alice and Rose, who were both laughing. "Nicely done, Emmett." Alice said when I was next to them. "Yes, well it was my mission, should I have chosen to accept it. And I did. I did the Impossible. Mission Impossible!" I said all this in a deep, serious voice, which had both Rose and Alice laughing once again. _Now, _I thought as we began to play volleyball, _I shall wait for the right time to execute out point b of part two of my Superspecialawesome Plan! Muwahahaha! Wait-I'm not evil. But who cares?! Muwahaha!_

About five minutes before the bell rang for third period, I assumed the position of a person flying a plane, with my hands out in front of me, circled around invisible steering parts. Then I began to run around the room, pretending that I was flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War. As I was doing this, I was yelling out sounds like that of bombs being dropped and guns being fired. "Phew, phew, phew!! BLAM!!"

At first only a few people noticed me, but soon, just like before, I had everyone staring at me. Once everyone's eyes were on me, I aimed at Alice and "shot" her. She, playing along, fell to floor, clutching her stomach. Then, Mr. Belcher yelled out "ENOUGH!" Silencing everyone in the gym. He walked towards me, his face fuming. "Didn't I tell you earlier to not do that?! This is GYM! For this, Mr. Cullen, I will give you a deten-" But the sound of the bell ringing cut him off.

"Well, well Mr. Belcher, it seems that I must get to my next class. Goodbye!" And with that I ran out of the gym into the locker rooms to change. Once I was back out, I made sure to stay away from Mr. Belcher who was still looking for me to give me that detention. "Once again, Emmett, I must say: nicely done." Alice said with an approving smile. I smiled back. "Well, it was Superspecialawesome if I do say so myself." I said, popping my collar. Rose just rolled her eyes. "Now I must go, good day to you ladies." I bowed. "Avtio!" I then made my way towards third.

**Ok pples, I want to know: was it crappy or was it good? Please review! **


	3. Third Period

**I'm soooo sorry I didn't update!! I was busy with the end of school and I was having writers block!! Please don't kill me!**

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**3****rd**** period**

When I got to third, I already saw Jasper and Bella sitting down. They were sitting near the front. I walked over and sat in the seat next to Bella's. "Hey, Emmett." They both said. I lifted up my hands toward them and said, "Yo yo yo! My home dawgs! Wasssuppp?!!" Bella shook her head. Jasper turned away, paying me no mind. I just shrugged, turning back. Soon, everyone was inside the classroom. _Now I wait for my cue._ Once the teacher, a man named Mr. Callahan, began talking, I started to mumble and gurgle words.

It came out something like "Aniflewngiobqc jwnvip'w calnvioql; mxopqvm." Mr. Callahan, clearly annoyed with the interruption, yelled out. "What are you doing?!" I looked up at him and said, "Why, my good sir, I am communicating with my home planet Hfneufewxnuig."

"Stop this foolishness this instant!" I jumped up and down in my seat. "But WHY?! What do you have against my kind?!!" "If you don't be quiet right this moment, I am going to give you a referral and call your parents!" I stopped, pretending to be scared. "NO! No, I'll stop! I promise." Mr. Callahan smiled, thinking he won. "Yes, good. Now back to what I was saying. The Incas…" Bella looked over at me, a smile playing on her face.

"Well Emmett, I see your charade isn't over yet."

"If that's what you'd like to call it, no it isn't."

"Why are you even doing this in the first place?"

"Not now, Bella, I'm trying to keep from becoming bored!" And with that I stood up, turned to face the rest of the classroom and said, "Unforgiving, unrelenting, bad students! I am God and I am ANGRY!" And with that they burst out laughing. "DON'T LAUGH AT ME!! IT'S TRUE!! I SWEAR TO MYSELF!!" This got them laughing even more. I sat down, satisfied, and looked over at Mr. Callahan to see his reaction: red face, literally, fists clenched, standing rigid. _Hmm…He looks really mad. _

Mr. Callahan first turned to the class to yell "BE QUIET! ALL OF YOU!" Which shut them all up; and then he turned and began to walk over towards where I sat. "You!" He pointed to me. "Me?!" I said, pointing at myself. "Oh, you! You are going to wish you never opened that big mouth of yours!" I widened my eyes in innocence. "Why? What did I do?"

"Emmett." Jasper warned, "He's going to blow." Mr. Callahan opened his mouth to say something else, but the bell rang. _Saved by the bell yet again. _I got up at vampire speed, making sure no one saw of course, and left before Mr. Callahan attempted to murder me. Jasper and Bella were out with a second of me, standing next to me. "Oh my God Emmett, you got lucky." Said Jasper, relief clear on his face. "He was so mad, dude! You wouldn't believe it! I'm shocked he didn't attack you." Bella laughed. "I assume the reason for him being so mad is because he's probably never had a student like Emmett before."

"Exactly!" I said, smiling. "Now, my dear friends, I thank you for your company, but I must go now! The journey of thousand miles begins today, this moment in time! With me as the main character cause I'm better than all of you!"

"You keep believing that, Emmett," Jasper said with a smile.

"Yes I will." I bowed, and said "Thank you for believing in me! Goodbye all! Au revoir et a demain!!" I turned to go to fourth period. "Emmett," said Bella. "Yes?" I turned back around. "Wait for me, we're going the same way, remember?" "Oh, right. Well then, lets go." And with that we headed off to fourth period.

**Ok, I want to know: Was it good or bad? And once again, I'm soo sorry for not updating!**


	4. Fourth Period

**Ok, pples. Here's 4****th**** period. I hope you all enjoy. ******

4Th

When Bella and I got to fourth, we saw Nessie sitting near the back, with two seats open to each side of her. I sat on her left while Bella sat on her right. "Hey, Nessie." She smiled at me. "Hi Uncle Emmett." I smiled back, then turned forwards, waiting for the right moment…The students shuffled in, the bell rang, and class started. A few minutes later I got up, and ran with urgency to the window near the door, my face a mask of concern. "And as you can see, the- Mr. Cullen! What are you doing, up and out of your seat without my permission?!" said a certain Mr. Johnson. Ignoring him, I pressed my face up against the window. "Mr. Cullen! Back to your seat this instant!" I lifted up my finger. "Hold on a sec." "That's it! I'm going to-" I pulled away from the window, and waved my hand as if it were nothing, saying "Sorry, Mr. Johnson, I thought I saw the Bat-Signal." I then took my time, making my way to my seat.

When I sat down the class was giggling, while Mr. Johnson was literally in a state of shock. He shook his head after a moment, then said, "Another outburst such as that, Mr. Cullen, and you should be expecting an hour long detention from me." I saluted him. "Yes, sir!" Mr. Johnson sighed, returning to his lesson. I looked over at Nessie, who was silently giggling, along with the other teenagers in the classroom. "Nice one, Uncle Emmett." I smiled. "Well it was Superspecialawesome if I do say so myself." She shook her head.

"You love that word, don't you?"

"More than I do Rosalie."

"I can't wait to tell her!"

I panicked. "No! Nessie please! Rose would kill me! Then bring me back to life just so she could kill me again!" She thought for a moment, then said, "Ok, I won't tell her if you make me laugh again." I raised my head in triumph. "That shouldn't be too hard! Besides, I already had something else planned for this period other than the 'Bat-Signal' gig." Nessie nodded, looking smug. "Ok, go ahead, then. Do it."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Please Nessie. A good practical joker knows when to strike. Give me a minute." "Fine." "Fine." Exactly a minute later I jumped up and started singing Barbie girl in the most girlish voice possible, throwing a few good dance moves in there, if you know what I mean.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!!" I thrust my hips, my hands overhead.

"Life in plastic, it's fantastic!!" I smacked my ass.

"You can brush my hair, undress my everywhere!!" I did the buttercup.

"Imagination, life is your creation!" I did a twirl, landing with my arms open. By now, I had the occupants of the classroom laughing, and Mr. Johnson yelling at me. But I wasn't going to stop there.

"You can brush my hair!!" I tried running my hand through my hair, without any success.

"Make me walk!!" I did the "Peggy Walk".

"I can act like a star!! I can beg on my knees!" At this I did the "Bend and Snap."

Once I saw Nessie clutching her stomach, I stopped and sat down as though I had done nothing wrong. Mr. Johnson looked like dead murder. "Mr. Cullen," he strained to keep his voice level and calm, "I want you to get out of my classroom. Now." The bell rang not a second later. I shrugged. "Ok." And I ran out of there before he could give me an hour long detention.

Nessie and Bella came up to me. Nessie was pink from laughing. "Wow, Emmett. I'll be sure to keep from telling Rosalie." "Why I thank you my dear Renesmee. Now, why don't we go to lunch." I turned around and pointed towards the cafeteria. "ON! YONDER THAT-A-WAY!!" I slapped my thigh and began to gallop to the cafeteria, which got me a few stares.

**Ok, so was it crappy? Or was it so Superspecialawesome that your tempted to start harassing me into getting the next chapter finished right away? Don't kill me if I got the Barbie Girl lyrics wrong! **


	5. Lunch

**Alright, now it's lunch time. What do you think is gonna happen?**

Bella and Nessie caught up to me, and together we made our way to the cafeteria. we had decided the day before to claim our old table, where no one ever sat, as far as we knew anyways. Alice, Jasper, and Jake were already sitting down, lunch trays before them. Edward and Rosalie were standing in line, waiting to get the food they wouldn't eat. We caught up to Edward and Rose. "Hey you guys!" I said, raising my hand up for a high five. They all turned away from me. I let my hand drop. "You guys suck ass." "Emmett!" Edward yelled. "What?!" He pointed to Ness. "My daughter!" Nessie rolled her eyes. "Oh, please Dad. I already know all those words." This said, Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

About a minute passed without anyone saying anything. Then Nessie burst out, "Hey, did Uncle Emmett do anything else retarded in your classes?" Which got everyone's attention. Edward burst out laughing. "Oh my God, Nessie, he didn't?!" "What did he do, Ness?" Asked Rosalie, meanwhile giving me a death glare in case I did anything "wrong". Nessie – now giggling – said, "He was dancing and singing 'Barbie Girl'! He even did the 'Bend and Snap'!" Rose's eyes widened. "Emmett, you didn't." I sighed. "Jeez, you're all idiots! You should all know by now that when I do something, I go all the way!" "Wow, that sounded wrong: 'go all the way'" Said Bella, hinting at something sexual of course.

Rose then proceeded to slap me across the face. "What was that for?!" She wiggled her finger at me. "Don't you _ever _call me idiot!" She then turned back around, ignoring me. "God, that hurt! Damn, since when did you become such a bitch Rose?! And since when did you become a pervert Bella?"Edward smiled, knowing what would happen next. "Wow, Emmett, you never noticed that?" Rose turned around, motioning to slap Edward, who – surprisingly- cowered. Then, she turned back to me to slap me again, this time upside the head, and say "Emmett, you stupid bastard!"

By now Bella, Edward, and Ness were laughing, as well as those who happened to see and hear what happened. "Rosalie!" She turned back around, ignoring me. The line moved up, we were next for food. "Wow, Emmett, if I were you I'd learn to keep my mouth shut by now." Bella said, smiling though she knew something I didn't. "Wow," Nessie said, smiling. ". I love it when you guys fight like little kids!" I shook my head, getting my food. And with that we made our way to the lunch table.

Bella, Edward, Nessie, and Jake sat on one side of the table, while me, Alice, Rose, and Jasper sat on the other. For a minute we all sat there, quiet. Then Nessie started talking about what I did in fourth, which got everyone else talking about what I did in the other periods. "It's great to see I'm so famous among my fellow vampires and the occasional wolf as well as half vampire." I said with a smile. "Oh please," Jasper muttered. "His feeling of superiority is overwhelming." Edward looked at me puzzled. "Superiority? Of all the emotions you feel superiority?" I rolled my eyes at him. "Well duh, Edie-pooh!" I said, flickering my wrist. "Don't call me that." I diverted my attention over to Ness and Jake who happened to be whispering to each other at the moment. _I wonder…_I looked under the table. "Yoho! Now what's this? " They were holding hands. When I got back up I said, "Jacob, I have a question for you." I made sure to block my mind from Edward so he wouldn't interfere.

"Oh great! Another prank." "What?" Bella asked. "What's he thinking?" Alice started giggling. "Please tell me Alice?" Edward begged. "No." Edward looked away, probably thinking the worst might happen. Bella looked over at me. Once everyone was silent, I asked "Can I ask my question now?" Jake sighed. "What?" "Well I was wondering if whenever you held hands with Nessie here, that it felt like having sex to you?" At the sight of Jake going red and his mouth hanging open - as well as Nessie's - I could contain my smile no longer. "Well?"

"Shut. Up." He managed to say. "So…it is?" He turned away, trying to contain his anger. "Emmett." Said Edward, just as angry. "I'm going to kill you." Nessie, recovering her wits, said, "Relax Dad. It's nothing. See?" She took Jake's hand again, setting it on top the table. "You go get it girlfriend!" Nessie rolled her eyes while Bella held Edward back. "Just ignore him like I do, Dad."

"But Daddy!!" I wailed. "Why??" Edward put his head in his hand. "You're giving me a headache, Emmett." "That's impossible. Vampires don't get headaches." "Well with you, anything is possible." I jumped up. "Yay! I can be a Jedi Master!" I walked up to this random kid a few feet away and said in my best Darth Vader voice, "Luke. I am your Father." He ran away from me, frightened as most humans would be. I sat back down. "Emmett," Alice said, "Darth Vader isn't a Jedi. He's the Dark Lord of the Sith." "Psh, who cares? Besides, since when are you Star Trek savvy?" She sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's Star _Wars_. And besides, you can't help boredom…"

"Speaking of boredom, that reminds me…" I stood up, scanning the room for something… "What's he doing now?" Jasper asked Alice, who was once again containing her laughter. "You'll see…" Which got groans from Jasper as well as Edward. Finding what I wanted, I looked over to the clock, making sure I had time. I about a minute and 30 seconds before lunch was over. _Perfect…_

I took my time walking away from our table, then, once I was near the humans, I started running like a retard towards my destination: a boy about my 'age' sitting down at an empty table. People began staring at me, and I'm pretty sure someone called for the principle. Once I got to the boy, who somehow didn't notice me at all up until I was next to him, I lightly hit his shoulder. "TAG!! YOUR IT!!!" Then, running, I made my way back to our table, where everyone was laughing their asses off. Except for Rose that is. Instead, she looked horrified. I sat back down smiling. Everyone, and I mean everyone in the cafeteria, was staring at me. "What?" I asked, looking confused. Edward shook his head. "You cease to keep from surprising us." "Why, thank you!" Just then the bell rang.

In a rallying voice I said, "I'm off to fifth period! Who's with me?!" Nessie, nonchalantly, said, "Jake and I have the same homeroom as you do, Emmett." "Alright then, follow meeee!!!!" I said. And with that I ran all the way to fifth, with Nessie and Jake trying to keep up without looking like idiots.


	6. My Dearest Apologies

**Dear Readers, **

**I'm sorry to say that I will no longer be adding anything more to "Things Emmett Does While Bored In Class". The reason? I've stopped loving Twilight. Do not get me wrong – I still **_like_ **it, but I don't **_love_ **it as much as I used to. See the difference? **

**I must also apologize to all of you who were waiting and waiting and waiting for me to update. I do not blame you one ounce for hating me because I never updated. I realize that I should've told all of you this sooner, but I didn't. I am a procrastinator, and I kept thinking to myself that I would do it the next day, then the next day, then the next day. Well days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and so on. **

**Once again, if you hate me, I do not blame you **at all. **I must also thank those of you who kept your faith in me and waited for the next chapter to this. You are truly great readers and it saddens me to know that I disappointed you all. If you would like to know the ending to this story (which I feel is obvious) then you may PM me. I will not explain it in detail, but I will tell you what was supposed to happen. **

**Goodbye for now. Maybe we'll meet again when I decide to visit the Twilight Archive, hmm? **

**With all due respect**

**~SweeneyLovett**


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